The James Logan Courier

By Laurel Brodzinsky, Courier Staff Writer

In a high school campus of 4,000 students, it is inevitable that every school day there will be students who do not have their homework to turn in, for whatever reason. Usually these reasons include forgetting to do it, misplacing it, or not doing it in favor of something more interesting. The part I want to call attention to here isn’t the fact that the student didn’t do his/her homework, but the excuse they give. If you aren’t going to have your homework ready, the least you can do is come up with a more creative excuse than “my dog ate it’, which while classic has lost it’s charm. So here are 25 various excuses, in no particular order, to make your excuse making a little bit more interesting.


1. The cicadas outside the window make it impossible to read Plato’s The Republic.
This is for those AP English students who procrastinate reading almost every single book.
2. Had to rescue a kitten from a tree. Fire department unavailable due to mysterious arson in usual class building.
I think we can all appreciate this one after all the fire alarms school has been having.
3. Trying to master catching flies with chopsticks. Limited success.
Everyone needs a life goal.

Got a good excuse? Share it in the Comments section. 4. Too worried about genocide in obscure African nations to focus on homework.
Perhaps your history class spends a lot of time talking about the Rwandan genocide?
5. District Court of Appeals recently ruled that homework is officially cruel and unusual punishment.
6. I did my homework in my head, I didn’t know I was supposed to write it down. Then I forgot. Next time should I show my work?
7. Had to stop and change a nun’s tire. Most effective with bonus multipliers for adverse conditions like snow, rain, gunfire.
8. Most hours outside of school spent as an invisible superhero fighting crimes to keep the public safe. Most effective if you can actually disappear, or produce a brightly colored, tightly fitting costume.
9. Hunting squirrels.
10. Too depressed about the near onset of winter to study.
11. Too heartbroken by my team's loss to study.
For the die-hard sports fans.
12. I got sidetracked programming my microwave to be my girlfriend. She warms my insides.
Any computer geeks out there?
13. Well, here’s the thing, sir. My neighbor was throwing this party, and it seemed in the spirit of the novel to really live how Gatsby did. Thankfully, no one did any driving
For the American Lit students.
14. I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked.
For use on teachers who appreciate current events.
15. My little sister ate it.
A twist on the old classic.
16. I had a very difficult choice to make: go to the beach with friends, or sit and do my homework. I chose to go to the beach, because my friends are more important to me than your homework will ever be.
Honesty?
17. My dad’s computer was hacked by the Russians and they stole my homework
Would work best if you are currently studying either World War II or the Cold War era.
18. I was up late taking care of my sick gerbil that my dearest dead grandma gave me as a Festivus gift the day she died. The only thing that could relieve Trentie's pain was a soft bed of notebook paper and the only piece of notebook paper I had was today's homework assignment. Gram-Gram appreciates your understanding.
19. I was eating lunch and another student started criticizing you and I just couldn't let that go without letting him know he was wrong. I searched through my backpack to find something to throw at him, and all I could find was today's homework assignment, so I let him have it.
20. I was at a rally last night demanding better pay and conditions for our hardworking teachers.
21. It has progressed on my list of priorities.
22. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn’t
actually reach it.
For use with math homework studying asymptotes.
23. Sorry I don't have my homework today, but I put it on top of the TV so I wouldn't forget it and the TV blew up.
24. A man came into my house last night and threatened to commit suicide. Well, it turns out he had a split-personality, so it was considered a hostage situation. It was a big commotion. Police, ambulance, everything! I can't believe you didn't hear about it! That's why I couldn't get my homework done.
25. Sorry, but my friend was hungry for knowledge, so he ate my essay.
Probably better than the school lunches…

Sources:
www.indianchild.com/excuses_for_not_doing_your_h.htm
http://www.economicshelp.org/blog/economics/excuses-for-not-doing-homework/
http://www.brighthub.com/education/homework-tips/articles/51080.aspx
http://www.myusm.com/usm340946.html?t=Humor
http://www.jobprofiles.org/library/students/the-ferris-bueller.htm